Therapy Walk: Dancing in Public
The difference between self-consciousness and self-esteem is experience. So, let's get some experience together.
Last Saturday, I had a clothing rack at Seven Wonders Collective's Lower East Side location. They frequently invite different people to sell their personal items in store. Seeing an individual's collection is always so interesting. Often, they host multiple sellers at once, and the distinction between the racks is fascinating to me.
This was the case on Saturday when I was alongside two other people. But it wasn't the distinction between the racks that stuck with me when I packed up and came home. The people I was with seemed so carefree and confident. They were dancing to the playlist freely, something I realized I probably wouldn’t do.
While I am pretty outspoken and confident enough to publish my thoughts in a newsletter, I am not the girl who will break out in dance in the middle of the store at hour six of selling. I'm not going to lie; I wish I were. There's something cinematic and delightful about seeing a woman do a little spin in the middle of the street, or, in this case, a vintage clothing shop. I would feel so awkward, but others never look that way to me.
My confidence generally has a lot to do with feeling well-practiced. I may not feel completely confident in many areas of life, but when it comes to style, I feel experienced. This is likely why I avoid dating, and I won't dance in the middle of the store, but I will dress in a loud outfit. I've practiced getting dressed! So, even though I am making a statement and doing something bold when purposely wearing something loud, it doesn't feel as scary to me.
We've all been dressing for our entire lives, but being mindful of that process (the Five-Parts Method!) makes a huge difference, and that's the practice I am referring to. It differentiates those who dress confidently and those who do it because they, well, have to. Suddenly you can get up on stage and if you mess up, who cares? Not you! You trust that it's part of the process and that practice makes perfect.
For now, I'll keep to what I "know" and work through the rest in therapy.
On that note, let's start practicing!!!!!!
I'm focusing on bold outfits today. I want to be playful and courageous; I want to put together the outfit equivalent of dancing in the middle of a store in front of strangers.
This outfit feels like doing the dance, but in my own way. It took several edits — a sweatshirt, no sweatshirt, holding the sweatshirt, etc. How many times can one change a pair of shoes before satisfaction strikes?
But when you get to the final edit, you feel energized. I don’t know the process that went into the outfits below — all of which are involved, thought through, and definitely were concocted using a version of the “Five-Parts” Method — but I imagine that they felt somewhat like they were dancing in the middle of a store in their final product.
Practice makes whatever your version of "perfect" is.
xo
Eliz