Therapy Walk: Taking Mental Snapshots + Three Brands You Might Have Forgotten About
Today on the menu at The Corner Booth: Some thoughts on immortalizing moments. Also, have you checked out Calvin Klein lately? Time to dig in!
I was the type of kid who cried about her birthday party ending before it even began. Since I can remember, I’ve worried about experiences I cherish ending way before they’re over and sometimes before they’ve started.
To exist in such a way makes you fear the passage of time. When focusing on endings, I miss the joy of being in the middle of the story. I think I do this as a way of trying to have control: In preparing myself for endings, I am trying to anticipate and plan for things before they happen.
But I have a practice that keeps these precious moments alive and with me long after they've ended, and it has nothing to do with my phone camera. My phone is indeed filled with snapshots of moments in time, but many exist in my phone and not in my brain. But my practice does have to do with a sort of photography.
This is not a novel method, but here it is: When I cherish an experience in real-time, I actively take a complete mental snapshot. Details get lost, but I do my best to fully take it in, meditating on any sensations right there and then. I can bring myself back to my view of that moment even years after it's over. When I think back to moments that have brought me joy, I can almost put myself right back in that spot.
I don't remember having this photo taken in Disney World. But I remember specific moments from that trip. When we're children, we have a lot of moments that feel huge and magical, at “the most magical place on earth” or elsewhere. Emotional or exciting experiences tend to stick with us (because of the adrenal stress hormones). Therefore, we don't need to force ourselves to pause and think mindfully during childhood. I believe that as I grow older, this sort of "magic" has been lost, and I need to force myself to stop and take in a moment in time.
When I told my therapist about this, she called it mindfulness, which felt like a stretch, but I think that stopping and taking these "photos" is a combination of recognizing that, at that moment, I am happy and taking the time to sketch a mental image. Mindlessly taking a photo on a walk because the sky looks pretty is one thing, but recognizing how you feel in that moment with the sky and digesting this feeling will mark that moment in your brain. I try to do both when I take the photo with my mind.
I’m traveling this weekend, and while I do expect my iPhone photo count to grow exponentially, I also recognize that those will live in my phone, not in my brain. They’ll be useful for Instagram and those times in years to come when my iPhone reminds me of that trip I took. Both are great! But you can’t caption a photo with a smell, a temperature, or the people around you. In a mental snapshot, I can.
Snack break!
A palette cleanser, if you will. I have two this week!
These truffles from That's It. I love the Fig and Date ones. I see many people—including my mom—making date-based desserts. These pre-made ones are for us lazy people. They're just organic dates and organic dark chocolate. That's It! They're on Amazon, too.
If you're a salt lover and need a hit, these little snack packs from Love Corn are so good. Popcorn is great, but these little kernels are so satisfying and way crunchier than popcorn. I've only tried the sea salt flavor, but I tend to be a big Salt & Vinegar girl, so those will be next.
Three brands you might be sleeping on
Gap and Gap Factory
You know of my love for this Gap Factory cardigan (100% cotton, $18, yada yada), but I also have a bunch of other basics from them I love:
This braided leather belt (specifically in brown). I look online for vintage braided leather belts (and urge you to shop vintage for classic accessories), but this one from Gap is so good and has a great price—less than many of the vintage ones I find. It's a great way to make a suit look more chill or cinch a blazer. My favorite thing about braided belts is that no hole punching is required. I like to size up in belts so the tail is long, and I can tie it for extra pizzazz.
This lace-trimmed tank. I loved and wore this Hanro lace-trimmed tank to death. I didn't want to spend another $90 on a tank, so I went for this one from Gap, and it did not disappoint. It does the job worn peeking out from an oversized blazer or under a shirt, unbuttoned and belted.
This boatneck tee. When I want a tight tee that's a little bit more stylized than a crewneck, I'll wear a cardigan...OR this boatneck. It's very flattering on the collarbone, and the material hugs your body in a bodysuit-but-not-a-bodysuit way. It's a mix of mostly cotton with a bit of spandex, so it's comfortable and soft, too.
Massimo Dutti
Two months ago, I shared a sale that Massimo Dutti was having on my Instagram and got many "Oh wow, I never think about them!" responses. I love their shirting and suiting. The web styling is excellent, too.
This blazer for spring. It's a hybrid of a shirt and blazer. I love the texture and the cinched waist. Worn with little denim shorts (these are my favorite) and strappy sandals (try these! They're very comfortable), it makes for a chic look for spring cocktails.
This 100% cotton poplin shirt. The swingy shape, the crispness, and the earthy color (I love the "Stone") make this shirt perfect for wearing either tucked into a midi skirt or worn out with kick-flare trousers or cigarette pants—also, this one's on sale.
This tee. It may be more of a styling suggestion (layer two tees!), but you could also do this and be one and done.
This cropped trench. Warning: the khaki color is low in stock! It is the perfect spring jacket to wear with anything from white or blue jeans to cigarette pants or cargos.
Trousers. I love several pairs, but I'm calling two out specifically.
This poplin pair in white. These are the perfect cool, easy trouser to pair with a crewneck sweater now or a tank or tee in the summer. Wear them with your Gap belt!
These double-dart trousers. I love the details! They're more interesting than traditional pleat-front trousers. They're made of natural materials—80% cotton and 20% linen—so they'll be good for the upcoming months.
Shoes!!!! Their assortment is so classic, many of which are on sale!
These kitten-heel slingbacks. Everyone should have a pair of walkable low heels, and a slingback fits the bill. I love this "lady" shoe, especially paired with masculine pieces. They come in handy to elevate jeans or even dress up a pair of shorts.
These ankle boots …or these. They're both on sale with limited size runs. The toe shape is very classic and minimal. They remind me a bit of these from The Row, which are 1234x the price.
These tall boots. Also on sale! Great with a midi skirt with the hem of the skirt always overlapping the top of the boot :)
I am also trying to figure out a reason to buy these metallic heels. Specifically, to be worn with primary colored socks!
Calvin Klein
I completely forgot about Calvin Klein until I was looking for a good boxy short-sleeved shirt with mini shorts (spoken like a true Palm). FYI, you get 20% off your order with code SPRING.
The aforementioned boxy short sleeve shirt (on sale). It's just over thirty bucks! I got it in black (in case I get a spray tan), but the white tempts me. I sized up because I wanted it to be really boxy and I am thrilled.
The perfect pair of bootcut jeans. I love bootcut jeans with, yes, boots, but they can also be paired with sandals once it's warm enough to wear them. The dye in these jeans is so rich and classic, I love them. If you prefer a straight leg, I like these a lot, too, in the same wash.
These “90s” jeans. You may have seen my deep dive into the Evergreen Silhouette, but TL; DR, I love big pants! They're great because their drama is intentional. Wear them with a tank, belt, and sandals and you have an effortless but polished outfit.
These kick flare pants. I'm not going to promise they'll deliver exactly the same effect as the delightful High Sport, but if you don't want to spend $860 (or commit to wearing them every day to get your price per wear), these are just over $50.
This mini dress (on sale). This is a random selection because I don't usually wear things like this, but I envision it with a mid-length spring jacket and strappy sandals. Alone, though, it's very 90s.
Is your shopping cart full enough now?
Thank you for spending time with me on Therapy Walk. I'll see you next Thursday at the same time and place. I'll be reporting from across the pond!
xo
Eliz
I loooooooove your mental snapshot idea