I wrote about Summer Solitude back in June. It's the phenomenon of feeling incredibly lonely in the summer, a feeling that awakens after seeing other people socializing together. I specifically referenced seeing friends in the park. At the time, I thought that I didn’t have a circle to do that with.
This past Saturday, I packed a bag to meet a friend downtown for breakfast, and then went to meet some of my former coworkers from Man Repeller for a picnic in Brooklyn afterward, far from my home on the Upper West Side. I love my alone time and many of my friends have moved away and started their own families, which is to say I don't usually have multiple social events to attend in a single day, especially in the summer. When this does happen, I usually start to conceptualize how I will figure out a way to cancel my second plan, making excuses to myself for why I must go home, with a long list of chores and tasks I make up in my head.
The thing about Saturday, though, is that this was the first time I had seen this robust of a Man Repeller crew all together since we'd worked in the same office together in SoHo in March of 2020. I love these humans so much, and I also really wanted to meet the tiny angelic babies a couple of them had created since (from my observation, talented people make great babies). To my surprise, I never once thought about bailing on the picnic.
On my Sunday Therapy Walk—the day after the picnic—I analyzed why the thought of canceling didn't pop into my head. I adore these people and was genuinely excited to see them. Making friends you love like this makes you value their presence more than your routine/tendencies/comfort. Secondly, I love babies. They are absolute anomalies to me, these miniature humans that look half confused but also so perceptive, aware, and genuine. They will cry if they don't want to be where they are or lose interest (though I highly recommend wearing a fun, colorful necklace to lure them in).
Point three is usually the hardest for me. It is the inner battle between missing out on something and doing what you're more comfortable doing (going home, missing out). On Saturday, I didn't allow myself a moment to stop and think about the option not to go. I was going.
It helped that I kept busy before. I didn't fuck around all morning (also known as doing absolutely nothing) or stand in front of my closet for an obscene amount of time trying to think up an outfit that these friends I hadn't seen together in years would recognize me in. I went along with the day, going from thing to thing, with no time to experience my usual inner cancellation battle. That phenomenon is probably really related to how, when we are busy, we have the most energy. Or, how when I have a hectic week, I am happiest. I don't know if you can relate, but that seems to be a thing for many of us.
My findings here are as follows: Summer Solitude, or solitude in general, can be brought on by overthinking it. Putting a name to Summer Solitude was probably the start of my downfall. To combat these tendencies, try to remove all opportunities to overthink. Stay busy but present! Hold a baby or two. Find people who bring you joy.
Of course that leads me to… what does one wear to a picnic!?
I’m not sure if this is what one wears to a picnic but it had the elements: comfy shoes, shorts or something you are comfortable sitting on the ground in, a colorful beaded necklace (to entertain any babies present), and a big blanket. If I were to do this again, I wouldn’t have worn a white dress. Salsa was present!
Here are some takes on my outfit, probably more suited for a picnic:
I hope we all have many picnic reunions ahead of us. Have a great rest of your week + weekend!
xo
Eliz