I’ve been thinking a lot about friend breaks and how the relationship can become much stronger when you take a break from someone—even if it’s a person you love dearly who means a lot to you. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. When you go through breaks like this, you also notice what it means not to have them in your life. The best way to do this is not maliciously, but rather, you skip a weekly dinner, or maybe you’re on vacation and don’t talk as much as usual.
Just recently, I had a friendship break—on pause for the entire summer—and when we reunited, I felt like the friendship grew. We have a better understanding of one another, and we both grew in ways that make us better for each other. A lot of times, we think of this phenomenon in terms of romantic relationships. When you’re young and have a partner, you break up—maybe when you go to college—and then come back together. However, friendships are also relationships that can grow and benefit from time spent apart.
I will compare this break to—what else—your wardrobe. Go figure. Let's say there's a sweater that you wear all the time and love—until you don't. Maybe it's not making you feel your best, maybe it seems a bit stale, or maybe it's just not doing anything for other elements in your wardrobe.
The best advice I have for you in this case—because I know this happens to many people, myself and many of my styling clients included—is to take a break from that item. Put it in the back of the rack. Don’t let it distract you, or try to keep falling back on it. Just put it to the side. Then, take it back out in a couple of weeks or months and see if it resonates with you. I often skip an entire season with a sweater or jacket I used to love and return to it months or even a year later. If it resonates with you again, that’s amazing! You had the break you guys needed! Suddenly, this item starts exciting you and making your outfits stronger again.
I think that both things—relationships with friends and clothing—can end in, “Okay, maybe this is not right for me.” And, in that case, you can end the friendship, which I think has happened to most people. It doesn’t have to be an abrupt ending. But it can fizzle out. That can be painful. But clothing doesn't have to be: you can donate that item. It's not the same, of course. But in both cases, you can make room in your life, mind, and energy for newness better suited for you at this time in your life.
Below are items in my wardrobe that I’m suddenly excited about again. Of course, this is caused by the change of season, but these were also items I didn’t wear much or took a full break from the last time it was cold enough to wear them.
A Poncho
I have a couple of Poncho-style jackets and one proper poncho that, in the past, has felt excessive and a bit costume-y. But inspiration has hit, and I am pleased to report I am excited to wear them. Because of its shape, a poncho is a great way to dress in a Palm silhouette, even when wearing pants (well, tights or very slim bottoms).
Polos
I’ve been visualizing layering a polo under a collared sweater for several weeks now. I’m currently very into double collars, and a polo is perfect for this time of year. It’s not too bulky, so it won’t make you overheat when the temperature peaks. You can have fun mixing polo colors with shirt colors layered over the polo. I prefer a polo with buttons rather than a V-neck.
Fringed Jackets
I took a little bit of a pause because I overplayed my fringed jackets in the fall, so I didn’t wear them at all in the spring. Based on my excitement about starting to wear them, I assume I will do this again. Memorably made popular by Khaite in 2019, a fringed jacket is a great lazy-day outfit sprucer-upper. Worn with the simplest layers underneath, it adds movement and fun to your outfit.
Wide-Leg Wool Pants
I have this one pair of wide-leg wool pants—thick, felt-like wool from Daily Paper—that I didn't wear once last fall/winter. But I’ve been experimenting more with my Silhouette, so I’m excited to wear these big pants, perhaps paper-bagged with a belt and a slim-fit shirt on top (you could do this with a men’s pair too).
Riding Boots
I grow fond of tall boots every couple of years, but the last time I really adored riding boots was in college. I am so glad I hung on to my pair, as I’ve been visualizing wearing these in with long feminine skirts or dresses.
Take a break. See you back here on Sunday!
xo
Eliz